Richard Ashcroft was right, the drugs dont work

So it’s finally happened, my tablets are doing absolutely sweet f a. I’m slipping back into the abyss and some people seem to be cheering on the darkness. Luckily I have some great people throwing me ropes and egging me on, my neighbours who I’ve known for less than two years, a woman who I went out with for two weeks about 18 years ago and haven’t spoken to until a few months back and a complete stranger who I bought something off who turned out to be an amazingly kind MILF. It’s funny sometimes who has you back and who can’t weather the storm. It’s left me confused and hurt but I understand that some people don’t have the energy to be involved with me. Times like these is when I feel at my loneliest but I don’t want to be around anybody. FML

Sorry for the rambling but this is just how I am right now

I’ve also become an unrelenting, yet apologetic, sex pest. I’m trying my hardest to rein it in


Just when you think it can’t get worse… 

It would appear that my anxiety is actually getting worse. Instead of the usual slow increase, which I learned to manage to a point, I now just get smacked in the face by it. I’m having one right now

5 hours of sleep later……

This was as far as I got with this article before I had to turn everything off and go to sleep. The nausea was too much, thankfully attacks completely drain all your energy so I drifted off quickly.

As I’ve already said, they’re getting worse. I normally get steadily worse over a period of hours but all this happened in then than an hour. The clamminess was replaced with so much sweat it was actually dripping off my nose and my hair was wet. My nausea was like being punched in the stomach repeatedly, my body tensing like I was vomiting, yet I didn’t feel like I was going to be sick anytime soon (if that makes any sense to you lot). Without going into detail, instead of increasing regularity of toilet stops it was like that scene in Dumb And Dumber. Now when you combine the physical manifestations with an inexplicable feeling of doom it’s just horrendous. 

I tried xbox, watching TV and writing this to calm it all down. Nothing was helping so I tried an old trick, wrapped myself in a bath towel. Something about the feel of towels on skin settles me. In between the waves of anxiety it didn’t take long to fall asleep.

I’m fairly sure the only thing that set this off was too much coffee during the day.

It’s now 4am. I’ve been awake for about 20 mins finishing this post. Time for sleep again. Night all