Two months later….. 

…. And I’m no better. My tablets have been increased again and I’m waiting for counselling again. Sometimes I feel like I’m going in circles like a haunted merry-go-round.

However something in me has sparked and I seem to be getting a bit of fire in my belly. I’ve started playing bass guitar which I’m really enjoying despite not being great. The other thing I’ve done is more significant and out of my comfort zone, I’ve hired a personal trainer. Calm down everyone, I’ve not lost the plot just yet. I needed to attack this and exercise and eating better is one of the few things I can control. 

General mood is low lately. I’ve just returned to work after five weeks off and I hate it there but until I’m feeling better there’s not much I can do about. Apart from wallow in self-pity obviously.

Still no sign of a significant other but to be honest I couldn’t cope with normal relationship demands right now and I’m probably be a shit bf too. Still, I’m starting to feel about as welcome as a shart in a spacesuit. 

I know this post flows about as well as a transit van in a canal but meh, whatever.

I should also stop writing in metaphors (?) but I find it easier to express stuff